I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize