Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
