Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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