i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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