your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
