Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize