you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Randomize
