i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
