The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
