nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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