is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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