She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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