Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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