Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Randomize
