Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
