Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
