You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize