Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
This is my gift to your gina
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
