i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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