I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
