But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize
