I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
