Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
