Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
All I want is dick and wine.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
