just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
