this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
