i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just found a bag of teeth...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
