You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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