Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
