He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
