Pants 0. Shit 1.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
