Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
