i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
