I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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