You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
my poor anus
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
