I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
The police scanner is talking about you again....
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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