well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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