Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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