is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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