what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
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The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
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All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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