can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You're like the curious george of whores
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
