Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
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Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
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You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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