I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
