I must be too annoying 4 u.
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
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My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
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May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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