I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
