How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
