He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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