Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
This toilet bowl is my home.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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