Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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