We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
