3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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