Hey man sorry I got all grabby
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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