Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
