i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
