Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
