Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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