we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
