I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
