when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I wish i was in the wii world.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
