Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
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