I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
