He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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